I love Mama Laughlin.....if you haven't found her on the Internet you need too. She is A-MAZING! I was just sitting here desperately wanting french fries and I could have very well gotten in my truck and went and got some.....but I didn't.....I honestly credit her today. It was like she was sitting on my shoulder. Instead, I chose to just eat my sandwich and drink my water. Her message is so positive and real and at this stage of the game I am already so appreciative that I can go to her blog and just read instead of eat.
Also I was just listening to her speak on the radio and she was talking about ah ha moments and when she finally realized that enough was enough. I can honestly say I have had so many of these moments in the last 8 years it pains me to think about. Some would say oh you should be so proud of yourself you have already lost 53 pounds. Well I'll be honest I'm not. First and foremost, how the hell did I ever weigh 242 pounds! I will admit I carried it well but Jesus that is a ton of weight on my 5 foot 2 frame! I have always had big boobs, larger arms, and a tummy, but never did I dream I would weigh that much. I weigh 189 to 193 pounds now and yes that's wonderful .... but the truth of the matter is I did lose some of that weight exercising....mostly yoga and elliptical workouts and I believe that 30 pounds of that weight came off with that effort. However, the rest I wholeheartedly believe came off because of my divorce and the stress that was incurred while I was going through my divorce. I can remember not having any money to feed myself and my daughter and truly realizing that we were potentially going to starve unless something changed. Thank God for J during those times but then I stop to think that maybe you used him to help yourself get out of a terrible situation and Lord knows that's not right....but then I think no your wrong....he came into your life for a reason and that reason was a beautiful thing and you can prove that to him by expressing how appreciative you are and by trying to make yourself into a better version of yourself not only for him but for yourself too. That's a pretty positive statement for myself and trust me those positive statements are few and far between.
I now worried that my body is so screwed up that it will never release the rest of this weight. I really need to weigh myself because I haven't for two weeks and I'm scared too. What if the scale hasn't moved what if I have gained weight. I know I just need to bite the bullet and get my ass on the damn thing. Also little unknown fact that I have not eluded too....but J is trying to lose weight as well....frankly I am so jealous of him. He seems to always make the time he needs for himself to take care of himself. Me? I feel like there are not enough hours in the day.
Also I was just listening to her speak on the radio and she was talking about ah ha moments and when she finally realized that enough was enough. I can honestly say I have had so many of these moments in the last 8 years it pains me to think about. Some would say oh you should be so proud of yourself you have already lost 53 pounds. Well I'll be honest I'm not. First and foremost, how the hell did I ever weigh 242 pounds! I will admit I carried it well but Jesus that is a ton of weight on my 5 foot 2 frame! I have always had big boobs, larger arms, and a tummy, but never did I dream I would weigh that much. I weigh 189 to 193 pounds now and yes that's wonderful .... but the truth of the matter is I did lose some of that weight exercising....mostly yoga and elliptical workouts and I believe that 30 pounds of that weight came off with that effort. However, the rest I wholeheartedly believe came off because of my divorce and the stress that was incurred while I was going through my divorce. I can remember not having any money to feed myself and my daughter and truly realizing that we were potentially going to starve unless something changed. Thank God for J during those times but then I stop to think that maybe you used him to help yourself get out of a terrible situation and Lord knows that's not right....but then I think no your wrong....he came into your life for a reason and that reason was a beautiful thing and you can prove that to him by expressing how appreciative you are and by trying to make yourself into a better version of yourself not only for him but for yourself too. That's a pretty positive statement for myself and trust me those positive statements are few and far between.
I now worried that my body is so screwed up that it will never release the rest of this weight. I really need to weigh myself because I haven't for two weeks and I'm scared too. What if the scale hasn't moved what if I have gained weight. I know I just need to bite the bullet and get my ass on the damn thing. Also little unknown fact that I have not eluded too....but J is trying to lose weight as well....frankly I am so jealous of him. He seems to always make the time he needs for himself to take care of himself. Me? I feel like there are not enough hours in the day.
All the reading I've done says I've got to work out at least 6 days a week.....uugghh....I really really really don't know if I can do this. I'm going to try and run, walk, run, for an hour we will see what happens.
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