Today is 09-18-2012, my daughter is almost 8. That means that I have been packing around this weight for almost 8 1/2 years! It's been way too long and when I think of the impact on my health I cringe. At 33 I'm sore, achy, and stiff most everyday. Consequently, I'm cranky and sometimes not so nice to be around. My heart hurts for my kids and J. I know that I am not easy to live with. That's my main reason I'm trying to shed this weight. I also need to somehow to change my mindset into realizing that I am not only doing this for them but myself....why is that so hard? Maybe it's because society has so wrapped up in how were supposed to look. I just don't know......
With that said this is the desired outcome.....
54 pounds needs to be gone by May 31st of 2013.....so about 7 to 8 pounds a month....uuugghh
This seems impossible....but I've done things that seemed impossible before in my life and I've succeeded so I'm going to give it go. I really need to take some before pictures so that when I do get to where I want to be I can look back and be proud of something I did for myself for once in my life. The problem is I don't think I can stand the idea of taking said photos....uuugghhh....I've just got to somehow work up the nerve I suppose.
In other news.....J had another mysterious dream last night and honestly I'm starting to think that he may secretly feel guilty about something or he hates me I haven't decided quite yet (I'm kidding, really I am).
Last nights dream.....I turned him into the police and he was forced to go to sensitivity training....ba wha ha ha ha! It remains unclear what I turned him into the police for but it must have been something good. He said he had to stay in a series of cabins with a bunch of people like himself. It seriously made me giggle. J is a man's man and there is no way he would be caught dead at sensitivity training. Maybe he's hitting another one of those milestones I think that all people experience throughout there life time where you reflect on your life and then you learn from it and you grow a little more everytime. J says it's just a weird time of year and that's what causing it.....all I could do was smile and nod. Lord, I love him with every fiber of my being and sometimes I just don't know why I just do.
What I'm eating today....
I need to be honest I had a cookie today and some Chai, feeling a bit guilty about that.
Lunch I will have a sandwhich and some triscuits again.
I believe that I am making spanish rice stuffed green peppers tonight for dinner with vegetarian refried beans....come to think of it I may stuff the beans in the peppers kind of sounds good. We will see.
More jogging tonight and add in some yoga and strength training. I'm hoping that at some point I will be able be able to jog a mile or more and not want to die. It will happen right?
With that said this is the desired outcome.....
54 pounds needs to be gone by May 31st of 2013.....so about 7 to 8 pounds a month....uuugghh
This seems impossible....but I've done things that seemed impossible before in my life and I've succeeded so I'm going to give it go. I really need to take some before pictures so that when I do get to where I want to be I can look back and be proud of something I did for myself for once in my life. The problem is I don't think I can stand the idea of taking said photos....uuugghhh....I've just got to somehow work up the nerve I suppose.
In other news.....J had another mysterious dream last night and honestly I'm starting to think that he may secretly feel guilty about something or he hates me I haven't decided quite yet (I'm kidding, really I am).
Last nights dream.....I turned him into the police and he was forced to go to sensitivity training....ba wha ha ha ha! It remains unclear what I turned him into the police for but it must have been something good. He said he had to stay in a series of cabins with a bunch of people like himself. It seriously made me giggle. J is a man's man and there is no way he would be caught dead at sensitivity training. Maybe he's hitting another one of those milestones I think that all people experience throughout there life time where you reflect on your life and then you learn from it and you grow a little more everytime. J says it's just a weird time of year and that's what causing it.....all I could do was smile and nod. Lord, I love him with every fiber of my being and sometimes I just don't know why I just do.
What I'm eating today....
I need to be honest I had a cookie today and some Chai, feeling a bit guilty about that.
Lunch I will have a sandwhich and some triscuits again.
I believe that I am making spanish rice stuffed green peppers tonight for dinner with vegetarian refried beans....come to think of it I may stuff the beans in the peppers kind of sounds good. We will see.
More jogging tonight and add in some yoga and strength training. I'm hoping that at some point I will be able be able to jog a mile or more and not want to die. It will happen right?
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